Had a lovely walk this morning with friends in the woods, the weather was cold, damp and miserable and the sun only came out when we were saying goodbye…but we didn’t even notice that it had been so glum. It got me to thinking (this happens a lot!!) about friends, all the different types of friends that we have…are they all friends or mere acquaintances? So many times in the past I have introduced certain people as ‘this is my friend, ……’ and then say their name, it is only recently that I have realised that some of these people weren’t ‘true’ friends.
I mean what makes a true friend?
We surely have different types of friend for different reasons, whether they are dog walkers, colleagues or even your partner. I know how I feel with true friends, I feel selfless, I tend to listen more and absorb what they are saying, which for me is quite an achievement as I am a bit of a motor mouth!! Sometimes friends say things that just make you feel very special and they don’t even realise it….I recently received an email from a friend and amongst the body of the text she had written ‘you’re the best’ another friend addressed me as ‘Peanut’ maybe just a cute name but not one that had been used before and both of these comments made me feel 10 foot tall and incredibly lucky to have them in my life. It sounds a bit flowery but it’s true. It’s extremely comforting to know that someone really values you. Every now and then someone comes into your life, your paths cross and that’s it….I met my husband 31 years ago and it was not ‘love at first sight’ it was an understanding. He never proposed to me, it was a natural progression of what ‘MUST’ be. These relationships are natural or to use the word of the moment, organic!! They exist, they grow and they just are. When I see these special people, I feel, well I just feel that’s it….I feel totally myself.
There are other friends who pass through your life and I believe are there for a reason, you needed them or maybe they needed you…these types of friendship come and go and leave you with wonderful memories of good, bad, happy and sad times together. Unfortunately, we overload ourselves with guilt because we haven’t kept in touch, we haven’t seen each other in a while, I haven’t rung ‘so and so’ for ages etc etc…we shouldn’t do this to ourselves. We should be happy with the fact that we were there for each other when it was necessary. Why do we insist on punishing ourselves for something that we have no control over? Surely if we were a good friend at the time that was needed, then we did a good job. The other thing is we all grow and change and desire and require different things as life goes by, we move on.
I know I have one friend of some 10 years now, who has been amazing, he listens and never criticises. He has never divulged any secret that I’ve shared with him. I see him every day and never tire of seeing him. He is not demanding or jealous. Although my husband fits this criteria quite well it’s not him – it is in fact my dog!! Charlie, the perfect companion!
Well, I’m enjoying this blogging! I know at the moment I seem to be rambling a bit, but I hope with time, I will become more eloquent and concise in what I’m trying to say. I’m also wondering if I can get all these thoughts out of my head and into a blog it may just help with my insomnia. I’ll let you know tomorrow if I have a good night’s sleep tonight….could be the beginning of good things.