OK, I only have an hour, I’m busy this evening so this is going to be quick…
I would like to tell you about what happened this morning in the woods. I’m mortified, I’m a bad person, a bad friend and I’m a dog burner!!! Call the RSPCA!!!
Yes I burnt a dog, my friend’s dog!! I was walking along having my ciggie as I do on my dog walk when Archie, the biggest, woolliest, blackest dog brushed alongside me and the end of my cigarette came off and landed right on top of his head….he continued to run and we (three ladies) screamed and bellowed like only fishwives can….”Archie, come!” ” Archie Come here!!” Whistle, whistle, scream, scream!! Archie wasn’t coming back he sped off with smoke rising from his head!!! Ok I’m exaggerating a bit but it sounds so much better with a little bit of Artistic Licence!!!
Eventually we caught him, Archie was none the wiser, he wasn’t quite sure what all the fuss was about but three ladies were fussing over him so he was quite happy! By the time we’d got hold of him the cigarette end had fallen off his head and there was a patch of singed fur but no burns I’m glad to report.
Archie’s owner said, ” Oh my goodness, I was only calling him back because I thought he had your ‘whole’ cigarette…!” I had visions of Archie stealing my ciggie and running off with the other dogs to smoke it behind a bush somewhere…what really made me laugh though was that Archie is renowned for the way he carries sticks – by the end, so he looks like he’s smoking a cigar. (He’s a very distinguished gentleman, our Archie, you know!)
So I apologise profusely to my lovely friend who saw the funny side (probably more than me) and to Archie, my fellow smoker who isn’t angry with me! (Believe it or not they want to meet up for another walk tomorrow…now that’s what you call good friends!)
I’m sure that any cuddles this evening between Archie and his owner will have an over-riding odour of burnt fur….sorry!!!
I went to market later in the day and took the following….Yes playing with my food again!!