DAY 74 (Be True to Yourself)

I’ve had so many thoughts over the last couple of days. One that keeps coming back to me is one that a very good friend said to me not so long ago:


How can we be true to others, if we aren’t true to ourselves?

I don’t know whether it is an age specific thing for women, I seem to be surrounded by women of my age who appear to be at a crossroads in their lives. Maybe it’s that they are now about to enter a period of their lives where their children no longer depend on them quite as much (apart from being the occasional taxi!) or maybe it is something that happens to us as we reach our 50’s/60’s. I don’t have children so I don’t have that as an excuse!

It’s all too often explained as wanting some “Me time” but I don’t think that’s it…we all manage to find some “Me time” whether it’s when we have a bath or listen to the radio in a car on the way to the supermarket or even as a Mum in the kitchen cooking the evening meal, I don’t think that’s the thing.
I think it’s that as a species on the whole, we are destined to care for others, be it children, husbands, parents and even neighbours, we automatically ‘give and care’. We adapt. I’m not saying that we no longer have that ability but I do think we’re at an age where we wonder;

Were we true to ourselves?

Where next?

For example when the children want to watch something on the TV how many Mum’s would say “Actually, I want to watch something” and settle down in front of the television while the kids go off and find something else to do? How many wives have been in the situation whereby they say nothing just to keep the peace but if the shoe were on the other foot?????? I don’t mean to be controversial or feminist, that’s not what I’m trying to say here but (ladies) ask yourself this, how many times have you said “Yes” when you really wanted to say “No”? How many times have you bumped into someone and felt obliged to stand and chat and ask about their health, family, dog, cat, kids and garden etc etc….when a man would simply throw a hand in the air and shout “Morning” and continue on his way. You see – the way I see it, the man in this situation is being true to himself!!

I’m quite sure there are men up and down the country (not to mention the world) thinking ‘Oh for goodness sake, what’s got into her now?” We are trying to be true to ourselves and it is mistaken for ‘asserting’ ourselves.

I just feel that I’m ready for something. It’s not a regret, not a mistake, not even something that was missing – it’s just something I need now. Oh I apologise if this isn’t making any sense!!!

Found it!!

Photography and blogging has definitely filled a great big hole in my life and I’m thoroughly enjoying it and intend to pursue it to another level. It has brought me another dimension to my life, I had no idea it would have this affect and if people had told me this, I would never have believed them. It makes me extremely happy and although I’m only on Day 74 I have a feeling this will be with me for a good while. However some of my female friends haven’t found their thing yet. All I can do is wish them luck and hope they will find it soon….






To those of you who haven’t understood a word of this, don’t worry, just thank your lucky stars you don’t have to put up with me in person!

To all the men who read this and think I’m bonkers – you’re probably right!


To all the girls who read this and understand what I’m trying to say, THANK YOU!!


24 thoughts on “DAY 74 (Be True to Yourself)

  1. I understand what you are saying. Women have been conditioned by society to put their needs after others. It takes effort to say no, and to get over that guilty feeling you have inside of you. It is time we put our needs first at times. And there are times I do (I am one of those moms who says, after 8pm, that it is my turn to watch tv); and other times that I don’t (no matter how tired I am I feel obligated to make dinner, or go do the grocery shopping).

  2. 50-60’s? Try 40’s! That is the whole reason for my blog! I am wandering around trying to pinpoint what I want. Thank you for explaining why I am doing it, I will send all inquiries and blank stares directed towards me here to read this.

    • Oh sorry, I just ignored it when I was in my 40’s!!! Head in the sand syndrome!! I wish you luck with your search!!! Thanks for commenting, it really makes it all worthwhile;)

  3. Good post. I learned to be assertive when I went into (male dominated) sales and traveled at great deal. Saying ‘no” to a demand or request is a perfectly good answer – for anyone at any age….but that’s apparently been a secret kept from women.
    Enjoy the adventure. The only one standing in anyone’s way is themselves

  4. I think I understand, and I’m only 22!!! 😛
    I think I see my Mum like this a lot, sacrificing the small things, giving in easily to others – because it’s easier to keep the peace. And then how do you end up in the end? Vulnerable and maybe even a little bit scared to be yourself. No woman should feel like that. Great post 🙂

  5. Wonderful words. I have learned through a lot of trial and error, to be true to myself.
    Sometimes, now, I think I am too true to myself. I spent many years not honoring who I was, so I’m making up for lost time in a big way. Thank you for your post. I think having Aspergers helps me with the taking care of me, because if I don’t I know I won’t function in a way that benefits the family (or me). Yes, like Sarah above said, I’m in my 40’s and can relate, too. Thanks again.

    • Oh no! don’t feel like that. Hubby read this and said I sounded like a feminist, that wasn’t at all my intention…in fact the opposite! I admire the way Men are true to themselves.

      • No problem, its just that at the time I read your writing my brain got mushy so I decided to quit before digging my own ……..:D
        Al my life I lived and worked with women and never treated them differently. One day I will write on the subject.
        Very interesting comments to read on this post.

      • Oh I know all about Mushy Brain Syndrome!!! I’m glad I didn’t frighten you off!! Will look forward to your post…it’s finding the time that’s the most difficult!! Yes I’m amazed at the response!! I’m obviously not the only one who has had thoughts about this issue….honestly us women eh???

  6. I loved reading all the commentary! So true–some days you just have to chuck responsibility and say NO! Some days I really wish I could get away with the passing hello like men do! Stay true to yourselves, ladies! 🙂

  7. I was thinking of this discussion today and remembered a book you might find helpful. It’s called “Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life”, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. A friend of mine has found it to be very useful and I’m hoping to read it when I get a chance.

    If you don’t want to buy it (or can’t find it in a used book store), you might see if a friend or your local library has a copy.

    P.S. I love the smiley at the bottom of your page! 😉

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