DAY 275 (Do I over analyze?)

Ok I think I wrote about this subject at the beginning of my blog over 200 days ago, if you read that, then regard this as an update, if you didn’t then welcome to mad and crazy world of my head!!

When reading this you must also bear in mind that I’m not the most eloquent of people and sometimes it can resemble gobledy gook but if you’ve followed my blog for a while or know me personally then you’ll be used to this by now, anyone new…all I can say is….Good Luck!!

TRAITS OF MY CHARACTER WHICH I DISLIKE BUT

I now own up to!

These are characteristics that I possess (in abundance in some cases!) They are a part of me that I have vehemently denied in the past for fear of admitting that I’m not as nice a person as I (or people I love) would like me to be. They are characteristics that I see in others that I dislike or if they have come to terms with, I envy. I am now in the process of addressing these issues, and have decided I either come to terms with them accept them and use them in a positive way….or if I decide the opposite then I will endeavour to change…it’s a work in progress!!

BEING THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION
In other words, being a bit of a show off.  I was the youngest, I wish I could say I was the cutest but that wasn’t the case, and I’m not being modest, I’ve seen the photos, so trust me on that one! I think I was the kind of precocious child that would do a song and dance for visitors….eugh I cringe at the thought.  However, on the plus side that has given me a certain amount of confidence. There is also the warm recognition that this isn’t my fault, if it started at a young age, it can only be that I was encouraged to be like that.  Surely, the majority of actors, actresses, singers, politicians, people in the public eye will have started out like that…maybe I missed my vocation and should have been on the stage…I must admit deep down inside there is a Lily Langtry dying to get out!! But you know what? I quite like that…this is a trait I’ll live with and try to manage in a different way, as an adult in company of people I know, I’m often the one telling the joke, my voice is the loudest and my laugh is the most raucous! Is that really such a bad thing?

BEING THE BEST AT SOMETHING.
Well, being the best at anything really. I didn’t do particularly well at school, I couldn’t cope with the stress of exams which meant I left school with very mediocre (read:poor) results. I didn’t choose a career but went (and still do) from one job to another, and as soon as boredom set in…I was off….
Ok, the good thing about this is that it has made me channel my energies into learning new things, I will give most things a try, however if I find I’m not good at it, I knock the idea on the head pdq, because I know I won’t be very good at it so why waste my time.  Due to this attitude, I believe that is why I’m hooked on the photography because every time I take a photo I can see where I can improve next time – the added bonus is I’m not being compared to anyone else and so I can only compete with myself, and I’m always at my best until the next photo…I hope that makes sense!

SAYING YES WHEN I WANT TO SAY NO
Ah that old chestnut!! I think the majority of us suffer with this affliction….but you know what I’m getting really good at saying no. Actually, that’s not it at all, I mean I’m getting really good at being honest. I recently received a text asking me for a favour, in the past I would have texted back “Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t blah, blah, blah” This time I simply texted back, “Unfortunately not today” it wasn’t rude, it wasn’t disrespectful, it was true, I wasn’t sorry so why would I say that…it was in fact ‘unfortunate’ so there you go, this is definitely something I feel quite comfortable with.

LIKING THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE(Mum told me that ages ago and I didn’t understand what she meant!)
In other words, I talk too much!
I’m not so sure about this one, there have been many occasions when I’ve been with company and afterwards thinking of the event, I’m aware just how much I was talking, this needs to be reigned in….I think I need to perhaps listen a little more…as my teachers would say, ‘could do better’!! Perhaps that’s why I like to blog, I can write away to my heart’s content and if no one reads it then that’s fine, I suppose it is a little like talking to myself.

I was going to write so much today but the hours have flown by, I’ve been busy painting the new outhouse, walking the dog, cleaning etc and visiting friends so I just haven’t got the time to write all I wanted – ah well at least you won’t have to put up with reams of my psycho babble!!

Oh I also had the chance to take some photos later on this afternoon so I’ve dotted them into my post!!

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