I wasn’t intending to write a blog today but as I’ve got all my jobs done and it’s miserable outside, yes, my UK friends, you’ll be pleased to hear that it’s raining!
I have just a couple of odd photos milling around that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject but I’ll pop them into a slide show at the end of the post and hope you’ll enjoy them all the same!
Well, dear reader, you should know me by now … I tend to be full of the joys of Spring one minute, ranting, raving and grumbling the next!
I’m seriously thinking of setting up a National Campaign over here to raise awareness of the shortage of hooks in ladies loos! Surely it’s not too much to ask, a hook screwed in behind the toilet door? I’m actually contemplating carrying a suction hook in my handbag that I can attach to the loo door when I’m out and about.
You see the thing is (and I do believe I’m right when I say this) if men had to cope with what we, the fairer sex, have to cope with, there would be hooks everywhere, we’d be tripping over the damn things!
Picture the scene, just this weekend, at the Pont de Gard. I’m wearing jeans with a belt (yes I know, I’m showing off cos I’ve lost a teeny bit of weight!), a t-shirt, a fleece and a puffy body warmer. I have a long cotton scarf around my neck. I’m carrying a back pack and a camera, pretty normal gear for a day out sight seeing. It started to get a little warm and so I removed the fleece and tied that around my waist.
Ah the moment comes and I need to visit the loo … Oh damn it, I went before we left home but I need to go again, do I go or do I try and hold on til we get back home. Nah, no way I can hold on, it has to be done!! Time to attack the public loo.
You know what’s coming don’t you. I enter the cubicle, look for a hook – no hook. Can I hang something on the doorknob? no. Can I hang my bag off the loo roll holder? no! OK time to get organised.
1 – Hitch camera over one arm and sling it around onto my back.
2 – Do up the zip on the body warmer and tie in all loose ends of my scarf to avoid the dreaded ‘dangle’.
3 – Secure the back pack over the camera, ensuring all loose ends are securely fixed and not hanging down.
4 – Remove the fleece from around my waist and tie it around my neck with so it is now dangling like a bib and obscuring total view from neck down to knees!
4 – Firtle around under the fleece to undo the belt, drop my jeans just to knee height. Now this is a lady thing, it’s very clever – it’s the ability to drop your jeans from the waist and pull up the legs at the same time, all the while observing the hems to guarantee that they don’t drop over the shoes and hit the floor, which is wet. With what? I’m not sure but best to be avoided at all costs!
5 – Back up gently in reverse, totally blind and hope and pray that my aim is good.
6 – Damn and blast, it’s only then I realise that I didn’t grab any paper prior to my preparation maneuvers and the toilet paper dispenser is behind me so I have to twist and turn and grapple to grab the evasive end of the roll.
If at any moment someone were to shout ‘Fire – Everybody out’ I have no idea how long it would take me to get out, let alone what I would look like, some kind of deranged Hunchback from Notre Dame with toilet paper flowing behind me no doubt.
I would also like to point out that this was the kerfuffle that I had to go through in a totally modern toilet block, I won’t even go into the detail of what rigmarole I go through when it’s a ‘hole in the ground’ loo!!!
Oh life, well peeing, was so much easier when we were living in a motor home!!!
So there you go that’s my rant, I just don’t understand why no hooks? What do you think ladies, is it just me? However there are a couple of loos in Montpellier that I’ve found that are really good, hookwise! Maybe I should list them up, a Facebook page with a list of loos with hooks!! Now there’s a thought!